Essay Published 9 Sep, 2022 · 290 Words
What does it mean to have the drive to live? Most would answer by saying what they want to become. A millionaire, an entrepreneur, a doctor, an architect and the list goes on. We define our motivations based on the future we want. Our dreams. In such a pretence, what would a person without dreams say? What if you try to intentionally halt dreaming? Would that person not have the drive to live? As someone who gave up dreaming a while ago, I'm stuck at a point where I don't know if I want to dream or not. Now you might be thinking, why did I give up? One word. Flexibility. There used to be a time when I valued flexibility to adapt, more than every other humane quality. I wanted to become anything at my will whenever I wanted. It was born out of a love for self-control. I love to control myself. It feels ecstatic to know I have absolute power over myself. In order to maintain my control, I relinquished the biases that kept me ahold. I gave up my self-pride, my passions and even my dreams. This allowed me to become a blank slate I could rewrite again and again. While erasing again and again too. As thrilling as being a blank slate sounds. It means you're giving up a massive portion of what makes you, you. You're giving up your personality. Unless you're a psychopath, which I'm pretty sure I'm not, you can't perfectly simulate a personality. People notice it and they avoid you. They loathe you, they don't connect with you. People don't care about people they don't have a connection with or are inept for any connections to grow. Thus resulting in an everlasting loneliness.
The movie kept me at the edge of my toes throughout. We don't know where the lion is gonna show up from. Is it in front of me or is it behind me? Especially at night. How are we supposed to know where it is when we can't even see what's right in front of us? What really impressed me is the cinematography. It feels so close to the action. The shots are mostly really close up and long cuts are eve...
A weirdly true story. There's a peculiar relationship between me and sleep. After I rest my head on a pillow, I never lift it up until I'm done sleeping. Like, take this one time. I was home all alone at night. Both of my parents we off working. I'm an only child so I get to monopolize the whole house to myself. That day, my parents were later than usual. Feeling sleepy I closed my eyes for a bi...
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